A handy “guide” to what is safe to eat and drink ….

As there seems to be a plethora of information these days on what food and drink is “bad” for you I thought I’d compile this handy little guide (plus a complimentary picture of some PROPERLY cooked bacon):

  1. Bacon, sausages, processed meats etc: Red meat OMG so baaad for you, also too much salt in salami, and any processed meat apparently causes cancer. Like anyone who is into bacon is going to take any notice of that, I mean come on !!
  2. Aspartame and other sweeteners: Causes cancer and probably infertility as well. Apparently sugar free drinks with aspartame in make you fat, like what? Sugar makes you fat, we all know that, the whole point of sweeteners is to replace sugar. Also I’m diabetic and when I want a cold drink I don’t want to spend my entire life drinking water or milk.
  3. Cereals and processed “grainy”/”potatoey” type products: Apparently contain high levels of acrylamide which again is cancer causing. So breakfast cereals, crisps etc. So put those Pringles down !!
  4. Water: Yes amazing as it might seem you can die from too much water (drinking it that is), you can also bleeding well drown in it.
  5. Just about everything you can eat or drink.

So yes basically everything you can eat or drink is bad for you in some way and really that’s all you need to know, so you don’t spend your life eating bacon and Shredded Wheat three times a day whilst drinking a gallon of water at each sitting. So basically: “balance” and moderation in all things and you’ll probably be fine, just don’t eat any weird poisonous Japanese fish.


 Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Reddit Share on LinkedIn
No Comments  comments 

London and its droog “problems” right now ….

Published on 9th May 2018 by in News, Opinion

London has a problem ….

Brixton ACID ATTACK: Woman rushed to hospital after being ‘caught in acid fight’ in London.

UK crime HORROR continues as weekend bloodbath grips country.

East London hit by ACID ATTACK spree: Three rushed to hospital in morning horror.

Well, I could post loads more links but you get the idea. Most of Britain knows that recently London overtook New york for murders for the first time in history, and how does our wonderful media react to this? They argue about whether it is true or not, fiddling while Rome burns or what?  Is it just me? Or does anyone else not think “less talk, more action”? Well, I guess Paul Joseph Watson agrees with me at least:

Meanwhile our glorious “leaders” in the House Of Commons and those senile buffoons in the House Of Lords think it’s more important to try and stop Brexit, it’s more important to shovel blame around for various less important matters in wallow in levels of previously unseen “head in the sand” behaviour and general incompetence. It’s not rocket science, we are close to the point where the only things that WILL WORK for the violence that is coming is:

  1. Zero tolerance policing in London.
  2. Martial law in London until this is “cleaned up”.
  3. Nuke London.

Number 1 is probably the best bet for now, whilst I can’t speak for New Yorkers, as I understand it the zero tolerance policy has more or less worked for their city, at the very least shown some efficacy. Mind you the United Kingdom is a very politically correct country now, if such a policy was adopted here can you imagine the whinging and whining from certain societal groups?  Number 2 should be saved for when this gets even worse. I suppose by the time you need martial law even the government knows this is necessary and will implement it, one can but hope.  Number 3 is seriously temtping ….

The solution then? Well it’s not “don’t chase moped riders without helmets because they might hurt themselves”, it isn’t “stop and search is racist so don’t do it”, in my opinion we’ve got to the stage where something far more “drastic” is needed, it’s probably time for number 1 from above. What say you?


PS A small note for Americans: If you ban guns, the crooks will just use another weapon, London is evidence of that right? Ok, London has guns but not at the US level and instead of guns we have acid attackers, and thugs wielding machetes and knives. If you take away a weapon there’s always something else the crook can use instead.

 Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Reddit Share on LinkedIn
No Comments  comments 

The saga of my blasted right ear ….

Not sure what to do about my ear now. As some of you will know I wear hearing aids. What some of you won’t know is how this came about ….

Years ago I was mugged in London and “cut” (albeit a small cut and slight stab) by a drunk idiot flailing around with a knife near my head. My right ear was damaged and I had a large part of my inner ear removed and my ear stitched back on fully etc. It’s not as grim as it sounds and to the NHS’s credit they did a good job on the whole, no nasty great obvious scar etc (under the hair so as long as I don’t go totally bald ….)

The damage gave me tinnitus and affected my hearing so I ended up with hearing aids. Now my hearing aids are getting somewhat “retro” and I’ve been told I need new ones (these still work but whatever). So I go for the hearing test and “goo in the ear” routine and am told to get my ear suctioned (syringing is out of the question) because of hard wax.

So home I go and being proactive I put ear drops/olive oil in to see if it will shed some of it while waiting for the eternally slow NHS appointment for the suctioning …. SOME wax comes out. Three months later I finally have an appointment this afternoon in Tangmere (God knows why there, I thought it would be local ENT at the hospital but whatever).

For the last week my ear has been shedding a ton of God knows what, I wake up every morning, have to clean it out and now it’s swollen inside as well. You know what’s going to happen right? “We can’t do this because it’s too swollen” or “where’s the wax” (what is coming out is most definitely NOT wax).

I can only assume the wax has come out and there may been a small abscess/boil/whatever inside that is now leaking 🙁 However, it’s not smelly, which I expect if it was an infection and boils tend to whiff a lot as well.

I suppose it’s going to be “we can’t do that” and wait another three months. Seriously how do old people cope with all this crap when they need a new hearing aid or whatever? I live 3 miles west of Chichester, I have to go to bleeding Felpham for the hearing test and new aids, Tangmere for the suctioning etc. It’d be a right pain in the rear if I didn’t have a car 🙁

I suppose I could take some Ibuprofen and see if the swelling goes down?


 Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Reddit Share on LinkedIn
No Comments  comments 

All that’s needed is “opportunity” REAL “opportunity” and society will thrive.

I’ve had to give this blog post a lot of thought. I kind of “knew” what I wanted to say but wasn’t entirely sure how to word it properly, so even the most “radical” lefts (or rights for that matter) would, hopefully, see my point.

There’s much talk these days of “lefties/liberals/libtards/Corbynistas” and then “racists/alt-rights/republicans/Conservatives” and so on. I thought about myself in this context and at first glance I would indeed appear to be one of the so called “right”, purely on appearance only. But then I started thinking more carefully about it and I realised the world simply isn’t that simple, especially as we live in a multiphrenic society where people tend to “pick and mix” the best bits from ideologies, lifestyles and politics that they like.

So, let’s break this down a little more. Am I “right”, well at first glance yes. But there again I don’t agree with the death penalty, period, regardless of the crime, that’s pretty “left” if you ask me. I agree with social welfare (aka “benefits”) and fair housing and all the rest of it, again pretty “left”. So where am I going with this? Well, it occurs to me to our society has not exactly mirrored the people within it from this perspective, our society, our government, our “establishment” (Police, media, council staff etc) don’t tend to be that varied and therein, I think, lies the modern dilemma.

We live in an age where information can be spread (be it true or fake) at lightning speed. We have more access to more information than ever before and this is likely to increase. However, politically we (I’m referring mainly to the United Kingdom here but I suspect you can find parallels if you live elsewhere) “swing” from left to right, back again, then back again. Labour’s in and they do a bunch of stuff some people like, a bunch of stupid stuff, a bunch of stuff nobody likes. Then Conservatives come along and they undo it and do some stuff some people like, some stupid stuff and some stuff nobody likes. Then a few years down the line and Labour comes in and on and on and on. This has been going on now for what, 50+ years?

Neither party is that “great” if you think about it, because no matter what they do (or don’t do) it’s going to piss somebody off, somewhere down the line. One party is somewhat “left”, the other is somewhat “right” and we don’t stop to think “hang on a minute we need the good stuff from both sides”, they just charge ahead with their own ideologies regardless. Think about it, you become prime minister tomorrow, surely you’re not naive enough to think what YOU think is right is the ONLY WAY? Now ok, proportional representation, it’s not going to happen. But would we want it to? Hell no, all we’d get is constant disagreement and nothing would actually get done, it’s be like postmodernism for politics, it’d be totally “meh, can’t be arsed”.

The problem we have, as I see it, is we’re being offered one way or the other way (the United Kingdom is essentially a two party system after all, Lib Dems? Hahahaha). Instead of actually listening to people and helping them (which let’s face it is what they are supposed to do) they just storm ahead with their ill thought ideas instead. I mean, fox hunting? Just grow up, we have far more important things to think about right now.

If government was actually accountable and acted upon the wishes of the people and “looked out” for them then maybe, just maybe, we wouldn’t think they were all just useless overpaid …. You get the idea. This is why Theresa May nearly lost the general election. We know she’s busy, we know about Brexit, BUT the vast majority of us are still in “da shite” from 2008/2009 (except the bankers and CEOs) and what did you offer those people, the “JAMs” as you called them? I’ll tell you what, sod all. She didn’t have to do a lot, just a few tweaks here and there to say “I haven’t forgotten you, this isn’t much but it’s a start”, stuff such as banning unpaid internships (much discussed but what’s happened about it?), capping utility bills and banning letting agent fees. Theresa May has been prime minister for nearly a year and has done NONE of these, it’s just all “talk talk talk” and no “action action action”.

Anyway, the crux of society’s modern “ills”. Interestingly enough I mentioned unpaid internships above and that’s part (a small part but still relevant) of the problem. Socialism doesn’t work, people take advantage and virtually everybody ends up with “sod all”, history bears witness to this, time and time again. Capitalism sucks, big time and don’t even start me on the “trickle down theory”. Neither extreme is ideal but what I think is lacking, for most of society, isn’t money, benefits or ideology but OPPORTUNITY. Government needs to remove and dismantle the blocks to opportunity, such as banning unpaid internships which only certain people can “afford” to put up with and consequently get “the job” at the end of it; JUST ONE EXAMPLE.

I’ve tried my hardest to “improve my lot” you know, I did all the “right things”, went to university (more than once, I am highly educated, way above the UK “average”) and when I left university the last time all I got when trying to find “decent” employment was barriers, more barriers, prejudice, discrimination (age mainly as I was a mature student). Think I’m paranoid? No I have proof, I’ve kept emails and recorded phone calls that shouldn’t have been made etc. University itself, yet more barriers; I got to pick 6 universities on my UCAS form (bear in mind I had 3 A Levels at A, a BTEC with 17 distinctions and more at the time) and Oxford, University College London and Birmingham all rejected me without even seeing me (there goes the myth of “white privilege” out of the window, wooosh).

These are the problems we face. We’re being given the message “study hard, work hard and you’ll be a success” but it’s largely crap. It all comes down to who you know, what school you went to, where you interned (is that a real word?) I got a job at Arthur Andersen, impressive stuff you may think, but ONLY because my ex-wife (well common law wife, obviously we were still on good terms) worked there and “got me in” so to speak.

This is what needs “fixing” in our society, we need to break down the barriers to “opportunity” (real opportunity that is, not MLM or Utility Warehouse sales bullshit) so that people who do study hard then work hard will do well, will succeed. I bet if we got to that stage the colleges and universities would suddenly be bombarded with people wanting to “better themselves” and who could blame them? If I knew that going back to university right now meant that I would 99% get a £50,000+ a year (bearing in mind I’d be studying at postgraduate level) job afterwards I’d be there in a shot. Who is going to study and/or “work their arse off” when all they’re likely to get is “meh” at the end of it?

That’s what Theresa May needs to do, show us you’ve “got our backs”, don’t go mad (no Corbyn style bankruptcy thank you), then break down those barriers and when more and more people “do well” watch how much better a country to live in this will be, for the many, not just for the few.  Finally, before anyone says “but there are opportunities”, try thinking of others for a minute not just yourself, sure there’s opportunities for you with your MSc from Cambridge and membership of the Masons etc but think of others for a change.

Dr Steve Antony Williams – More qualifications than you can “shake a stick at”.

 Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Reddit Share on LinkedIn
1 Comment  comments 

Why we have a hung Parliament now.

Published on 9th June 2017 by in Opinion

So a hung parliament then is it? Whilst I have been somewhat vocal in my support for the Conservative Party in the run up to this election I have had some concerns with the way they run things domestically and the direction in which they are heading.

In many ways Theresa May has run a good campaign (before you shout that “down” hear me out). On the whole it has been balanced, carefully guarded and pragmatic. Some of the manifesto, is “unpleasant” to some, such as means tested care home charges against a pensioner’s property after death etc. But realistically to object to means testing for this, school meals and even pensioner’s winter fuel allowance is petty and bitter minded, means testing is far better than “sod off we’re taking it away, end of story” and why indeed should baby boomer pensioners on generous final salary pensions get winter fuel allowance? My wife is 70 years old, ergo she is retired, on a basic state pension and we get partial winter fuel allowance (because I am younger and not retired), we’re not “well off” by any stretch of imagination (indeed we are the so called “JAMs“, the “just about managings“) and yet do we really need the winter fuel allowance? Do we heck.

As for free school meals, I don’t know the exact “threshold” at which means testing would be implemented but hasn’t it nearly always been so that some children get school meals and others don’t, e.g. it’s means tested, albeit via “those on benefits and those not” and so on?

As for the selling pensioner’s homes to go towards care home costs (again means tested) sorry but generally speaking I agree. I know there’s a lot of people out there working very hard and not reaping the benefits of the baby boomer generation but time was we used to support our elderly relatives ourselves, as we did when my mother in law was dying of lung cancer, it wasn’t easy but we brought her to our home, took care of her and made her end as pleasant and painless as possible for her. To expect your elderly relatives to be supported in care homes (which have to be paid for SOMEHOW) by someone else whilst you reap the benefits of their vastly over inflated (as in house prices are way too high) property when they die is extremely selfish in my opinion. Sure you should get “your wedge”, so to speak, but to expect to “get it all” when you basically left the state to pick up the bill for the care home is selfish in the extreme. Care workers have to get paid as well you know?

Don’t get me wrong the Conservatives aren’t great, but the proposals put forward were financially viable (unlike the ridiculous “land value tax” which let’s face it nobody would be prepared to pay) but, let’s be frank, BORING. Yes, that’s the right word, BORING. And why? Because we’re an increasingly shallow society, expecting instant gratification and rewards, we’re all turning into “I must have it NOW” people, expecting it all. You only have to look at Facebook to see that for example.

So where specifically did the Conservatives go wrong? Lack of action, not major action, but little steps, little “nods” to the people, less talk more action. Theresa May suggested banning unpaid internships, a vote winner for sure I would have thought, but did she do it? No, she didn’t. All she had to do in the last 11 months since the Brexit vote was remind us all that it isn’t just about Brexit, she has “got our backs” and some quick and easy concessions to win popularity. But instead she seems to have been side-tracked by the EU issue. I accept Brexit is important (heck I want us out of the EU more than many of us do) but time should have been made to improve people’s lives in the meantime, time should have been made to ease the pressure on the JAMs.

I still believe the Conservatives are the only way to go forward (the lesser evil and so on), I remember all the disasters of the 1970s and the Blair years (for which we are still suffering and I put the blame for most of our country’s “ailments” as a nation squarely at Blair’s feet), if only because of the pragmatic manifesto, which doesn’t promise “everything’s free” as does the Labour Party manifesto (it ain’t free, we’d all be taxed to death, see land value tax for example).

If Theresa May wants to lead us forward she needs to get some basic domestic issues dealt with, she needs to put more money in the pockets of the JAMs, even if it’s only a little, anything that shows we’re going in the right direction or people are going to fall for the “it’s all free” manifesto again and again and in that path we’re all doomed.


 Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Reddit Share on LinkedIn
No Comments  comments 

£300 A Day For Basically Doing Naff All – Apply To: The House Of Lords FAO “Lord Adrian Palmer”

Best day care for the elderly! Peer’s amazing description of the Lords in BBC documentary that shows their pampered world. Peer living in 110-room home laments not being able to increase £300 allowance.

“A peer who lives in a 110-room mansion has lamented not being able to increase the £300 peers receive each day because of the ‘intolerable’ public outcry a pay rise would cause. Lord Palmer speaks out during a programme that has given a glimpse into the pampered world of the House of Lords. In the fly-on-the-wall documentary, another peer, Lord Tyler, calls the Lords the ‘best day care centre for the elderly in London’.

Members of the Lords get the £300 tax-free allowance each day just for turning up – even though some of them contribute nothing, according to claims in the BBC2 documentary. But Lord Palmer, who inherited his title 28 years ago and sits as a crossbench peer, said there would be an unwelcome backlash if they were paid more. The 65-year-old, whose stately home on the Scottish borders boasts a grand staircase fashioned from silver, told the programme: ‘If you think that today a high-powered accountant or lawyer is probably charging £600 an hour… but we get £300 a day. The Press outcry if we had a tiny rise would be just absolutely intolerable.’

The documentary, Meet The Lords, which begins next Monday, shows elderly peers snoozing on the red benches during a debate and drinking red wine at the ‘long table’ of their taxpayer-subsidised restaurant. Lib Dem Lord Tyler tells the programme: ‘It’s the best day care centre for the elderly in London. Families can drop in him or her and make sure that the staff will look after him very well – and he can have a snooze in the afternoon in the Chamber or in the library.’ Former Lords Speaker Baroness D’Souza says she once witnessed a peer leave a taxi waiting outside while he popped inside to ‘clock in’ and claim his tax-free £300 attendance allowance.

There are no checks on what a peer does after signing in, meaning unscrupulous members are free to leave immediately. Lady D’Souza’s intervention is all the more remarkable given that she came under fire in 2015 for charging £230 expenses for keeping her chauffeur-driven car waiting four hours while she went to the opera on official duty.”

Bollocks to this crap, I can’t read any more (all the above courtesy of the Daily Mail, which whilst not being the bastion of British journalism we might like has got this story pretty much right).

For the record I agree with the Lords, in PRINCIPLE. The idea of a second chamber which introduces checks and balances to our Parliamentary process seems like a pretty smart idea after all. We all know politicians are a bunch of mendacious, deceitful and manipulative chancers and schemers (well the vast majority of them, I do find myself warming to Theresa May somewhat now and Andrea Leadsom is kind of cool and sexy) that simply can’t be trusted to remain impartial, unbiased and act solely in the interests of the vox populi. Ergo, a second chamber of checks and balances = good idea. Right? Weeell, yes and no. First of all these people are not elected and a succession of dubious appointments to the Lords by dubious governments (mostly Labour) means the Lords is now at least partially populated by people more interested in their own agendas and wallet/purse than those who actually see the job as what it really is: PUBLIC SERVANT; yes peers, what you are supposed to be is a public servant, your job is a well paid and prestigious “civil service” role ultimately. The job description might not say “civil servant” but that’s what it amounts to in the long run.

But where it gets even more shitty is the moaning about the money and the lack of “doing something” useful. Peers turning up to sign in just for the £300 a day (tax free) then pissing off to Soho or the Diogenes club or whatever it is these people do for “leisure”. Some of them sign in, and then do NOTHING. There’s no checks to make sure they’re doing anything for their £300 a day, heck there’s not even a check to make sure they stay there, all they have to is “sign in”. In this day and age this beggars belief. Our “leaders” and people in elated positions of responsibility need to be held accountable and that includes those Lords who are nothing but a drain on the economy.

The ultimate insult though is this obnoxious old goat Lord Palmer. He’s 65 (why aren’t you living on a pension?) with a 110 bedroom mansion on the Scottish borders (and no doubt the income, shares, stocks and hedge funds to pay for it) moaning that £300 a day isn’t much and they need a rise; justifying it by saying lawyers etc charge £600 an hour. Well fuck you Palmer. My wife is retired and she gets £110 a week, yes a week, not even a day. Plus you forgot to mention that despite those £600 an hour lawyers (another bloody rip off in my opinion) most of the populace earns a damn sight less, heck I know plenty of people who’d like £300 a week (tax free as well would be nice) but your statement stinks of “fuck ’em, let them eat cake”. Well fuck you and all you stand for.

Why is it so hard to get “value for money” out of our establishment? Being a Lord is a bloody “gravy train” and they know it. So if there ever comes a point where is a referendum re: the abolishment of the Lords I will vote for “kick the bastards out” even though I generally agree that we should have such an establishment. I’m sick of this bullshit rhetoric from overpaid, pompous arseholes who don’t understand what’s going “down” in the rest of the country for the rest of the population.

For £300 a day I’ll do it and heck I’d actually WORK when I got there.


PS Here’s our “esteemed” Lord, if you meet him feel free to tell him what an obnoxious “out of touch” twat he is (or even give him a swift kick in the “round objects”):

 Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Reddit Share on LinkedIn
No Comments  comments 

“BUT BUT the ECONOMY!” Bollocks to trickle down economics ….

Ah yes the economy, the economy and the economy; which of course if you read much of the media is the ONLY thing that matters. Consequently the pro EU “remainers” have been running with “project fear” now for several months, before and after the Brexit referendum on June 23rd 2016. Of course the “spin” behind this is “if we leave the EU then we’re all DOOMED, economically DOOMED I tells ya”.

But look behind the purveyors of this spin, those people who want to keep us in the EU. You’ll find people with Hedge Funds in the EU, property portfolios across the European continent and basically people who make money out of being in the EU. The rest of us “plebs” who don’t have such luxuries (I myself am self employed and frankly it wouldn’t make a flying shit of difference to my business one way or the other, although very very slightly possibly in favour if we left, but that’s not for this discussion).  Virtually everybody I’ve met who wants us to stay in the EU is basically just selfish. The eBay seller who moaned her “stock” would go up because she buys from Germany, the guy with the Spanish wife, the guy who works in Gibraltar on some weird tax scam system and so on, it’s all been “me me me”. I myself voted out for a very simple reason, crudely put it goes like this:

“Government is mostly run by a bunch of mendacious career obsessed greedy politicians who neither listen nor care about the people they actually represent to the point of doing the exact opposite of the wishes of the their voters”. An EU parliament, for me, was another “layer” of useless, mendacious, greedy, freeloading politicians above them. I just figured 1 layer of governing arseholes was better than 2 layers. See my point?  Ok I had other reasons, but that reason seems particularly relevant.

Not so the remainers of course. No they have to try and browbeat us into “but but the ECONOMY“. Well here’s a thing for you people: some of us don’t care one way or the other. The socio-economic system we have is frankly shit for most of us. We’re told to “study hard, work hard” and we’ll succeed. BECAUSE trickle down economics works right? Does it hell, it doesn’t do anywhere near enough “trickling”, if anything it’s more a “trickly up” economic system. Maybe it’s time to smash this poxy system, because if we don’t it’s only a matter of a few years before the proverbial (and literal) pitchforks come out.


Anyone see “Witness For The Prosecution” over Christmas (damn good, go catch up on iPlayer). It’s a film noir style adaptation of an Agatha Christie play set in the 1920s. If you haven’t seen it then maybe you saw the original Upstairs Downstairs? Life in the 1920s was shit for most people. It wasn’t all “flappers” and cocktails and so on for the vast majority of people and we still had people tugging their forelocks to nobles and all the rest of it. Life was a struggle after the 1st World War and then when the 2nd World War came along this bullshit system was finally broken, at least to some extent

Sadly we’re going back to that, except the “titled” people aren’t those “nobles” they’re money men. People who make money from the EU, like “hahaha I sold 20 million Euros today for US dollars and made £500,000 profit I am going to spend it on hookers and cocaine” etc. Rich remainers are people who are worried that their “fund” is only going to make £15,000,000 this year instead of £17,000,000 whilst the likes of me (the so called JAMs) are struggling to get together a deposit for a new rental because I want to move because my rent is frankly extortionate. I did the “study hard, work hard” thing (seriously the letters after my name are probably twice as long as my name and those who know me know I use my FULL name, middle name and all.) I’ve studied my brains out and worked my proverbial bollocks off, like so many other people of course and frankly (even if they don’t know what “trickle down economics” means) think the system we have now simply sucks.

So bollocks to the chants “BUT BUT the ECONOMY!” Fuck you, you mean YOUR economy, your POCKETS, not mine. Maybe the system needs to be smashed and rebuilt. Don’t get me wrong I’m no socialist but heck there has to be something in between? Because the current system sure as hell blows. Trickle down economics my aching arse, just sod right off and bollocks to the “BUT BUT the ECONOMY” whiners.

Here’s what really happens, eg “shit down economics” (incidentally if you think my bad language is “unnecessary” then you can fuck off, it is necessary in order to emphasise the point):


 Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Reddit Share on LinkedIn
2 Comments  comments 

Fuck you Hermes you useless shower of shite. @myhermes @hermes


Hermes are without one of the most useless incompetent courier/parcel firms I have had the misfortune to use. The actual “courier” is fine, she turns up with the parcels, collects them and off she goes (Jackie from Chidham, a pleasant enough lady). But heaven forbid something go “wrong”, such as a Jackie being off sick, or her car has blown up or whatever. The local Hermes depot is staffed by incompetent morons who have absolutely no contingency plan for such problems and the parcels just “sit” here waiting to be collected, and given we usually get a Hermes delivery to us every other day (give or take a bit) and I haven’t seen one in days well …. This suggests Jackie is either ill, the car’s blown up, she’s quit or whatever and the local depot’s “contingency plan” has failed to “kick in”, oh hang on, that’ll be the plan they don’t have ….

I myself have been in the transport industry, as a despatch rider, a multidrop van and lorry driver, an HGV driver and even a “rope and sheeting” type driver delivering heavy machinery. I am proud to say that I have NEVER ever failed a delivery or collection ever due to any incompetence on the part of the company I was working for or on my part either. I’ve sat in Dagenham for 2 hours refusing to move until the lazy sods who work at Ford “goods in” took off the palettes I’d delivered, I’ve “handballed” parcels and even heavy machinery from the back of a truck at 9pm on a Sunday night in London’s West End, heck I even delivered the server that was for the Queen’s first ever internet Christmas message at 2am on Christmas Day morning.

Not Hermes though, they are the most useless bunch of cockwombles ever. They simply couldn’t give a damn. I spent over 40 minutes waiting to get through on “chat” (because you can’t call them) and the resolution? There wasn’t one, all they did was suggest I re-book the collections or take them to the local drop off shop. Well FUCK YOU Hermes I’m not here to fix your bloody incompetence, you should have sorted it out when you had the chance. Now you’ve not only a lost a customer but created someone who is going to hate and despise your crap organisation for the rest of their life (and boy am I going to advertise the fact). Fuck you and fuck you and fuck you again, useless incompetent retards. As for the customer service via “chat”, fuck me are they useless? See for yourself:

Neha: Hi, my name is Neha. How may I help you?
Steve Williams: First of all please don’t say anything like “I’m sorry to hear that” and other meaningless platitudes!
Steve Williams: Secondly I am still waiting for a number of parcels to be collected
Steve Williams: None have been collected the next day like they were supposed and go back to last weekend
Steve Williams: plus nobody can be bothered to answer my emails
Steve Williams: What I want to hear is what is going to be done about it and WHY they haven’t been collected
Steve Williams: there’s a number of orders and they’re all on the account
Neha: I am sorry about this Steve.
Steve Williams: Please no “I am sorry” stuff
Steve Williams: JUST WHEN ARE THEY GOING to be collected
Steve Williams: and why haven’t they been
Neha: Just so I understand clearly your parcel was not collected on allocated day and you have not received any response from us.
Steve Williams: numerous parcels yes
Steve Williams: not just the one
Steve Williams: my depot (I believe it is Havant) is utterly incompetent and seem to have no contingency plan for when they are busy or the driver unable or whatever
Steve Williams: They manage to collect from the local Parcelshop but seem utterly incapable of collecting from home pickups which we are PAYING extra for.
Neha: I can understand your situation. There is technical issue due the courier has not received the collection request. However we request you to please drop the parcel at drop off point or cancel and rebook the shipment.
Steve Williams: That is not satisfactory, I PAID for collection from here. I want them collected from here. I am in and out all the time but someone is always at home. Also, a “technical issue”? Seriously? Just ring the depot up and shout at them.
Steve Williams: Technical error sounds extremely “made up excusey”
Steve Williams: Does Hermes want to lose a customer? This is not good enough, I want them picked up TODAY, delivered TOMORROW and the “collection by courier” part refunded, plus a further partial refund for gross incompetence.
Neha has disconnected.
Sudipta: Hi, my name is Sudipta. How may I help you?
Steve Williams: Why was the last person disconnected
Sudipta: I am sorry you got disconnected from the previous agent.
Steve Williams: Please no “I am sorry” stuff
Sudipta: May be due to system issue you got disconnected.
Steve Williams: I just want these parcels collected
Steve Williams: None have been collected the next day like they were supposed and go back t last weekend, nobody is answering my emails
Steve Williams: What I want to hear is what is going to be done about it and WHY they haven’t been collected
Steve Williams: there’s a number of orders and they’re all on the account
Steve Williams: also none of this “take them to the Parcelshop” stuff, that’s not an option
Steve Williams: I paid for them to be collected from my address and expect that to be done.
Steve Williams: there’s a number of orders and they’re all on the account
Steve Williams: Does Hermes want to lose a customer? This is not good enough, I want them picked up TODAY, delivered TOMORROW and the “collection by courier” part refunded, plus a further partial refund for gross incompetence.
Sudipta: I am sorry the parcels were not collected.
Steve Williams: Stop it with the SORRY, you’re not sorry
Sudipta: Could you please provide the sixteen digit tracking number?
Steve Williams: I jus want to know what you’re going to do about it
Steve Williams: there’s more than one hence I said
Steve Williams: I am looking at the parcels in the site “back end” and all I see is our ref numbers not the tracking numbers
Sudipta: I am sorry I an unable to pull any details from theemail address you have provided above.
Steve Williams: is this the right number?
Steve Williams: it says “barcode” in the back end
Steve Williams: 5719770246038780
Steve Williams: and 8462898250707082
Steve Williams: and 9594134249515784
Sudipta: Thank you. Please give me a moment while I check this for you.
Sudipta: I would request you to cancel the order and rebook it again.
Steve Williams: That is not an option, I want to ring them up and shout at them because my depot is utterly useless, I can’t wait any longer for these to go so please stop obfuscating and just get them collected
Steve Williams: Stop trying to make it my problem, it’s hermes mess, hermes should fixc it
Steve Williams: fix
Steve Williams: If it’s not fixed BY HERMES there will be repurcussions
Steve Williams: Not only will you lose a customer but I will become a very large thorn in Hermes’ side
Steve Williams: asking me to fix it isn’t customer service it’s a fob off
Steve Williams: You need to start going out of your way to keep me as a customer because this isn’t the first time this has happened
Sudipta: I am sorry you are unhappy with the service provided, however, in order to get your parcel collected you need to cancel the order and rebook or drop off the parcel at the parcelShop.
Steve Williams: no you can fix it, ring the depot and tell them to do it, your response is not satisfactory
Steve Williams: If you can’t do that personally then connect me to someone who can, that solution is not good enough
Sudipta: You can contact us by calling 03303336556. Please start by selecting option 1 for tracking a parcel. After this please select option 5 as you are the shipper. Once prompted to, please enter the tracking number followed by the # sign. The interactive voice response will provide the current status of the parcel and provide three options after that. Please select option 3.
Steve Williams: NO, you fix it
Steve Williams: I am not fixing your company’s mistakes
Steve Williams: you’re customer service right? so let’s see some customer service instead of “customer fob off”
Steve Williams: seriously I am logging all of this, if Hermes doesn’t fix it it’s going to be all over the internet and to every eBay Powerseller I know and I know a lot
Steve Williams: I have “influence” in the eComemrce world
Steve Williams: ecommerce even
Steve Williams: your “solutions” are simply not good enough
Sudipta: I will need to forward this issue on to our investigations team. They will contact the courier and chase this parcel’s collection within 24-48 hours.
Steve Williams: No they won’t, you will tell them NOW and I expect it to be within the hours, 24 hours is no good, I’ve already waited several days
Steve Williams: “within the hour” I meant to say, I am seriosuly angry right now hence the typos
Sudipta: I am sorry however, this the standard time frame.
Steve Williams: Do you really consider 24 to 48 hours satisfactory in this circumstance?
Steve Williams: Don’t talk to me about “standard time frames”
Steve Williams: I’ve waited several days “past” the standard “time frame” for these to be collected
Sudipta: I am sorry the parcel was not collected.
Steve Williams: well stop being sorry and fix it
Sudipta: This the best I can assist you with .
Steve Williams: What me on to someone who can better then
Steve Williams: This is not good enough
Steve Williams: I mean “put me on to someone who can do better” sigh
Steve Williams: Nothing personal against you but so far all you’ve done is say sorry and not offered to fix it.
Steve Williams: Ring them up and scream at them
Steve Williams: If that’s what it takes
Sudipta: You can contact us by calling 03303336556. Please start by selecting option 1 for tracking a parcel. After this please select option 5 as you are the shipper. Once prompted to, please enter the tracking number followed by the # sign. The interactive voice response will provide the current status of the parcel and provide three options after that. Please select option 3.
Steve Williams: NO
Steve Williams: You fix it, Hermes cock up Hermes should fix it. I am way too busy to fix your mistakes
Steve Williams: I’ve already told you that is not a satisfactory resolution
Sudipta: I will need to forward this issue on to our investigations team.
Sudipta: This the best I can assist you with.
Steve Williams: Put me on to somebody who can actually do something
Steve Williams: I waited over 40 minutes to get through on “chat” and expect far more.
Steve Williams: you must have a line manager or supervisor, pt them on
Sudipta: Could you please provide the contact number so that I can forward this to the concerned team?
Steve Williams: 07507 623504
Steve Williams: I’m not ending this conversation until they call, 24 hours is not satisfactory
Steve Williams: where’s your line manager
Sudipta: Thank you for the number.
Sudipta: I will arrange a call back to you.
Steve Williams: NOW
Steve Williams: not 24 hours
Sudipta: Thank you for contacting us at myHermes. Have a good day.
Sudipta has disconnected.


PS: in case you think I was “exaggerating” about the waiting time:


 Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Reddit Share on LinkedIn
6 Comments  comments 

If you think it’s “inhumane” to age test “child” immigrants then frankly you’re a tosser

Don’t carry on reading this if you’re easily offended, there’s going to be some swearing and yes it is necessary…. Yesterday I was “out and about” (mainly Southampton but that’s beside the point) and like I often do when out during the day, I tuned into Radio 2. Now the Jeremy Vine show (formerly the Jimmy Young show) can be a bit “controversial” and yesterday they were talking about the “age” of the supposed “children” coming from the Calais jungle and whether we should have age tests to see if they are children or not.

Well is it just me? You don’t need to be Sherlock fucking Holmes to see these people are NOT children for fuck’s sake. EVEN (and that’s a very dubious “even”) if these immigrants are “children” they’re not the “vulnerable” children that we’re supposed to be bringing to the United Kingdom are they, these are blokes big enough and ugly enough (as the expression goes) to look after themselves. There’s no young children, no girls, nobody disabled etc. “Vulnerable my arse” as Ricky Tomlinson’s character Jim Royle would no doubt say.


Now here comes my next bit of “ire”. There were people ringing in, emailing etc to the Jeremy Vine show to say it would be “inhumane” to subject these immigrants to age tests. WTF planet are we living on? How can testing someone’s age in order to prioritise for genuinely vulnerable children be inhumane? I’ll tell you what’s inhumane, cheating the bloody system so genuinely vulnerable children lose out. I’ll tell you what’s inhumane, being subjected to a battery of bullshit tests and arbitrary criteria by arseholes at job centres or organisations like Concentrix in order to “qualify” for benefits when you’re disabled etc. If you’re one of those people who think its “inhumane” to test these immigrants for their age then frankly I think you are a blinkered lefty tree hugging bleeding heart liberal cunt.

This country has gone bloody mad.


PS if you think my bad language is “unnecessary” then you can fuck off, it is necessary in order to emphasise the point.


 Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Reddit Share on LinkedIn
1 Comment  comments 

Elected representatives who don’t actually “represent” the people who voted for them

Well this isn’t going to be a popular post with some people but I’m going to write it anyway. There’s a lot of “huff and puff” going down lately with regards to immigration problems, racism, Nazism and the effect on the politics of various countries such as the USA, the United Kingdom and Germany.

First up let’s talk “Brexit”. The United Kingdom is a democratically led country with parliament elected to represent the wishes and desires of the majority vote that put said party into power, eg the “vox populi” and its wishes. The majority vote spoke out, people want Brexit and this may (or may not) be due to immigration into the country (I suspect it mostly is). The United Kingdom government has failed consistently to recognise its people’s wishes, consequently failing to do its job, which is to represent the people that voted for them. Time and time again we have been “stitched up” by governments who have done what they thought was the “right thing to do” for the populace without actually asking the public; the mere fact that the United Kingdom has had so few referendums is indicative of this. I appreciate that we can’t have a referendum to decide every single little thing but stuff like leaving the ERM (Exchange Rate Mechanism), leaving the EU, the Lisbon Treaty and more, should have ALL been subject to a referendum. It doesn’t matter how “thick” or “stupid” you may think “the public” the point is the party runs the country for the people and if the people’s wishes (no matter how stupid they may seem to you if you are a MP) are not followed then EVENTUALLY the public are going to get mightily pissed off. Can’t say as I blame them really.

As for Brexit, this is democracy in action, the majority said “out” so the moaning “remainers” should just keep quiet and live with it. I recall many years ago the despair I felt when Tony Blair got into power (we all know what a disaster he turned out to be) yet you didn’t see me campaigning outside the Houses Of Parliament demanding a new election, I just accepted it, after all the MAJORITY VOTE said “Labour”. Now I accept the system is a bit “naff” with the whole first past the post system but it’s the system that needs changing, if you didn’t like it then why didn’t everybody vote in the “alternative vote” referendum?

Then there’s Germany. I am fortunate to know a lot of Germans from my Commodore 64 and Amiga hacking days of the 1980s and 1990s and on the whole they’re all very nice guys, pretty normal, much the same as you and me, just German. Now even many Germans are starting to say “enough” towards immigration. Angela Merkel’s party has taken a major setback and now the Alternative For Germany party is set to enter the German Parliament for the first time ever. Why am I not surprised? It’s only a matter of time (in my opinion) before we have something similar in France.

Then there’s the USA. Boy is this a hotbed of spin and bullshit. Would Hillary Clinton be a good President? Damned if I know. Would Donald Trump be a good President? Again damned if I know, he might after all. The point is he is telling many people what they want to hear. Guess what if people are pissed off enough that works. Then you end with far right politics and all because the previous administrations/governments couldn’t be arsed to do WHAT the people that voted for them wanted. For my money the USA will get the President it wants, whether that’s Clinton or Trump as ultimately your country should be led by the people who represent what YOU want not by what they think is “best for you”.

Whoever runs a country would do well to remember this. Represent the wishes of the people who voted for you, that’s what a representative democracy is supposed to be, not some system for you to further your political career and piss people off with a load of things they don’t want. We’re grown ups, we understand we need some austerity, tightening the belts and all that. But also many of us don’t want uncontrolled immigration. I myself have considered emigration and even with all my experience, qualifications and other “skills” (I speak more than one language) it’s a “no” from everywhere pretty much, why doesn’t the UK have immigration like that? Oh hang on it does, if you’re a surgeon from Australia or a rocket scientist from the USA. But once you’re in the EU block it seems to be a “free for all” and in a country the size of the United Kingdom this simply can’t carry on.


PS some figures:

The United Kingdom (England, Wales, Scotland & Northern Ireland) is (give or take a bit) 94,000 square miles and has around 65 million inhabitants (well the ones we know about). The USA is about 3,800,000 square miles and has a population of around 320 million. You don’t need to be a genius to see the problem …. And if you think “my that’s a lot less densely populated than the UK”, wait until you see this: Russia is about 17,100,000 square miles with 144 million inhabitants. Not only that but Russia is a lot closer to the Eastern European countries and Syria etc that people want to emigrate from ….

 Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Reddit Share on LinkedIn
No Comments  comments